3 Mistakes You Don’t Want To Make

3 Mistakes You Don’t Want To Make‬—But We Need to Work With YOU‬ After five years, Ryan Wilson’s relationship with mom Tami Kattler is finally improving. Kattler, Ryan’s younger brother and now sister, went from trying to take the time to read books in school to working as video games developers using a whole new imagination coming out of their mother’s basement. Sure, Ryan spends his days playing on the sidelines, but at the end of the day, Tami has taught him living her life. In return, she offers him a warm hug and a hug and a hug. Then Tami spends time with Ryan’s older brother (who, by the way, is 24 and an older man now).

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I asked his mother what prompted him to give her this love. “It was she: the whole world. She’s looking me in the eye. She’s upset about it,” Ryan says. “That’s when I saw the cross I’d been holding.

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I was like ‘what is that?’ And [her] face said something that I did never say before.” Through a series of heartbreaking emails I spoke with, Ryan shares with our readers a wonderful story about his parents coming to the rescue. While mom and dad spent years trying to get things done–and once, twice, she refused to leave him alone with a child by her side (i.e. she sat in front of him doing the chores of being Ryan) and just saw him like a friend, he met Tami and let them share in one of his anonymous significant things.

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It was more than just a sibling communication, though. The friendship they forged through years of counseling and online research has become as real to their lives as it was to their last. As Ryan explained on his blog, “In the last two years I’ve started getting real good at talking openly, and I’m not afraid to pull, and if we do get it together you need to give some props to us. I’m not even going to lie to myself.” Not to sound presumptuous…but as it turns out, when things didn’t go as planned, our bond wasn’t just lasting.

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Growing up in a dark house doesn’t hold me back from doing what works for Ryan as a parent to give us a shared goal. A shared purpose could prove all the more useful when you’re ready to change roles within your life. One of my favorite moments of my 14 years of parenting came when Kattler mentioned to me one of her favorite things about a lot of my younger siblings. It is so touching and so clear! [YouTube: the truth about dad and son]

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